Welcome!

Welcome to the world of Captain Scratchy! I add cartoons and comics to the Humor on a Roll section below numerous times a week, and I add content to the other pages on this site regularly, so come back often to see what's new!

Humor on a Roll

Click on any individual post to expand and read the accompanying text.

2 days ago

Groundhog has big plans for Groundhog Day

Happy Groundhog Day, to those who celebrate. I hope your day is going so well that you want to repeat it over and over and over ...

4 days ago

Worm meets an early riser

Something just dawned on the worm ... at the crack of dawn.

6 days ago

Two very different perspectives from a dog and a cat

It's good to have choices. Are you following the advice of the dog or the cat today?

Jan 28

Shark suspects manatee isn't really a manatee

I call this one "When Shark Met Manatee." Yes, it's an origin story. It took months for the shark to become convinced that the manatee...

Jan 25

When not to tell your doctor that you're a little hoarse

This particular doctor might be a little confused if you tell him that.

Jan 23

Alien has a close encounter with a cocky canine

If the alien didn't bring a doggy treat, this close encounter probably won't end well.

Jan 21

Shark and Manatee get very different messages

It's been said that "nobody's perfect", but the mighty manatee is proof that's not true.

Jan 19

The dog is on the bed for a 3 a.m. check-in

Are there any dog lovers out there who can relate to this? Fun Fact: Hallmark (Shoebox Cards) bought the rights to a slightly modified...

Jan 16

Cat peeks out of box ... but just can't

Anyone else want to hide in a cardboard box all day ... or at least until it's time to eat?

Jan 13

Penguin on its back might not be telling the truth

It's weird that penguins have a built-in bullshit detector, even though most of them have never seen a bull.

Jan 11

Great white shark reaches personal best before breaking New Year's resolution

Congratulations to Shark for setting a new personal best by going a full week before breaking that New Year's resolution. And it's not...

Jan 8

When your dinner companion just wants to probe the lobster

When you're hanging out with Zarlok and you get hungry, it's probably best to avoid going to a fancy restaurant. He'll just embarrass you...

Jan 6

Chicken tempts fate ... and a hungry bear

Well that's unfortunate. The bear was on such an impressive streak, tying the previous record of 27 days. That previous 27-day streak...

Jan 4

Something's afoot: The Sad Alligator is a little less sad

The Saga of the Sad Alligator continues in 2023. It's good to see he's a little less sad, partly because of his friendship with Croc, but...

Jan 2

Is the new guy ready for the job in the new year?

I agree. I don't think the little guy has any idea of what's ahead. But I guess you could say that about all of us. Best wishes to all as...

Dec 31, 2022

The pets aren't cool with the New Year's Eve naked dancing

I think the pets have their own New Year's Eve plan: Get super drunk and hide in the basement.

Dec 30, 2022

Captain Scratchy's Top Ten most popular Instagram posts revealed!

Check out my Instagram Top 10 posts (by number of likes) of 2022. Part 1 is HERE and Part 2 is HERE.

Dec 28, 2022

Bear finds out sloth is a little slow

This is not a rare two-toed sloth, it's a common two-word sloth. Yes, sloths are adorable, but the sad fact is they're not very bright....

Dec 24, 2022

Manatee just wants to make someone happy with Christmas socks

Three important takeaways here: 1) Sharks don't want socks for Christmas. 2) Whatever gift you give an octopus, it's never enough. 3)...

Dec 24, 2022

Ready to make a heroic journey for the bear necessities

Here in Scratchyville, the blizzard has hit hard. But the bear is determined to tunnel through the frozen snow to get the essentials...

Dec 24, 2022

Dog and cat take action against the Elf On a Shelf

Being an Elf On a Shelf isn't the joyful job many people think it is. The spy game is a rough business.

Dec 21, 2022

Bear interviews for a Christmas season job

Mr. Hiring Guy is about to make a huge mistake if he doesn't look closely at the content of the bear's speech bubble.

Dec 19, 2022

Cat tries to reason with Santa

Santa should relax the "naughty" rules for cats. The Big Guy has to realize that cats are gonna cat, and that's that.

Dec 16, 2022

Manatee is sure no one will notice that speck of blood

Marine scientists have determined that a great white shark can smell blood on a manatee's cheek from many miles away. But I'm sure this...

Dec 14, 2022

Bear has loads of Christmas spirit

Yes, even bears are moved by the spirit of the holidays. But we shouldn't forget that while bears might be feeling festive, they're still...

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