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Welcome to the world of Captain Scratchy! I'm in the process of rebuilding this site, which has existed in a different format since 2009. I'll be adding many more cartoons and comics in the coming days and weeks, so come back often and watch the site grow!

Humor on a Roll

Click on any individual post to expand and read the accompanying text.

9 hours ago

Man claims he's not being lazy

Look! It's a cartoon about a lazy guy and his exasperated wife! How original! But, seriously, my thanks go out to the cat for attempting...

2 days ago

That is definitely a suspicious mole

Moles are naturally suspicious creatures, but they are especially suspicious about being the subject of puns and lazy humor. With that in...

4 days ago

It's all downhill for armadillos

Sometimes armadillos have the best perspective. I'm pretty sure this is the first armadillo cartoon I've ever drawn. I've written down a...

May 7

The cat has a solid defense strategy

After that, the defense rested (in the form of a three-hour nap that was followed by some more destruction and then another three-hour...

May 5

Shark with no shame

Sharks have lost more and more dignity with every release of a Sharknado movie. And that explains the heavy drinking.

May 3

4 types of box cats

I will stop drawing cats in boxes when cats stop doing weird things in boxes. Don't ever stop, cats. Please don't stop. If you share this...

Apr 30

Leading a horse to more than water

We at Captain Scratchy do not endorse "getting carried away" with your horse, unless it's under normal circumstances in which the horse...

Apr 28

Shark goes back to the ocean

The shark’s lifestyle change didn’t last long. Not only does the ocean have those stinky fish, there are also those annoying seagulls and...

Apr 26

Did you hear that?

There's nothing worse than having your soul repeatedly poked by hell demons with pointy sticks. Unless you're a dog. Then there's...

Apr 23

Please leave the cat alone

Making eye contact with a cat at the wrong moment could provoke an undesirable response. At least that's what I've been told by a large...

Apr 22

Dogs Need a Podcast

They then agreed that their podcast should be a true crime podcast, delving into such hideous crimes as late feeding times, inadequate...

Apr 20

Unproductive Shark

This is based on a true story. The shark that spends all day drunk in my kiddie pool is now drunk all day in my tub. There's been no...

Apr 19

Oops ... not a squirrel

I think they're both going to be startled. Meanwhile, that damn squirrel will be watching it all go down, loving every minute of it as he...

Apr 14

Pet Pressure for the Pooch

We ask an awful lot of our pets: Be loyal. Be loving. Be adorable. Don't be pooping on the carpet. We should take a moment to consider...

Apr 12

Confused Horse

This cartoon is so fake. Look at how ludicrously large the doorknob is compared to the man's hands. The rest of it checks out as quite...

Apr 11

The Bear Wants More Paddington

There should be no limit to the number of times you watch Paddington 2 in one day, whether you're a bear or whether you're this guy. If...

Apr 8

Unimpressed Dog

I've got to side with the dog on this one. A box filled with snacks is a game-changer. But let's not deny the cat its snug little slice...

Apr 7

One-Sock Waldo

It’s about time Waldo is forced to spend his valuable time searching for something. He’s been taking delight in our frustration and...

Apr 5

Safe Snoot Booping

You thought dogs weren’t concerned about good hygiene and safety protocols. You thought wrong, at least when it comes to this dog, who...

Apr 2

Time Travel Cat

Time Travel Cat then told them about how the cat war against wiggly string has escalated in the future. Time Travel Cat also told them...

Apr 1

Slobber Dog and Slobber Mop

Slobber Mop was the name of my band when I was in high school. Our fans nicknamed us the Mop Tops and also the Fab Floor Moppers.

Mar 30

Bear Behind You

Just to be on the safe side, I always assume there's a bear behind me. Even when I'm in my kitchen.

Mar 30

Oh Deer

No actual deer were exploited during the making of this cartoon. But this particular deer went on to find great success as a cover model...

Mar 30

Just Say Nay

I'm starting to miss going to meetings. Especially meetings with paranoid horses.

Mar 30

Bad With Hands

This cartoon might just feature my personal best drawing of hands.

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