Welcome!

Welcome to the world of Captain Scratchy! I add cartoons and comics to the Humor on a Roll section below numerous times a week, and I add content to the other pages on this site regularly, so come back often to see what's new!

Humor on a Roll

Click on any individual post to expand and read the accompanying text.

2 days ago

Dolphin offers usual dolphin defense

This is your reminder of the mortal danger posed by seemingly happy-go-lucky and always-smiling dolphins.

4 days ago

Barking at waffles is just the beginning

Dogs should be forgiven for barking at waffles. And they should be EXPECTED to lose their minds over bacon and other greasy food items.

6 days ago

The Sad Alligator is sadder than ever

It's the return of Sad Alligator! Dolphin and Seal are clearly messin' with Gator, but it's Manatee's brutal honesty that delivers the...

Sep 16

Bear can't understand being turned down for office job

Could this be the reason bears have so much trouble landing an office job? Is it all about pants (or the lack of pants)? Or is there more...

Sep 14

Goldfish makes an impulse purchase

When it comes to making impulse purchases, goldfish are the worst. Bicycles, toasters, curling irons, oven mitts ... the list of crap...

Sep 12

Cow is not happy with the new arrangement

I’m calling “Disgusted Cow.” Cows can’t stand being used as on-demand breakfast milk dispensers. So stop doing that.

Sep 9

Manatee looks spiffy in new shirt

I never knew manatees were so meta. But there's no doubt the manatee is rockin' that tee, although it does look a little snug.

Sep 7

Dog is lawyered up and ready to go to court

You should never disappoint your dog by making false or misleading claims on your shirt, especially if your dog is lawyered up.

Sep 5

I think we all know how this shark sneeze will end

Probably not a good idea for the guy to hang around just to say "bless you" to the shark. By the way, this comic just became my fourth...

Sep 2

Is that a bear behind you???

This recently became my most popular post of all time on Instagram. As I post this, it has 740,000 likes (updated Sept. 4) and has been...

Aug 31

Generous bear goes a little too far

The bear was being so generous and helpful ... but then went a little too far. Meanwhile, the manatee seems a little confused by the...

Aug 29

Never go out to eat with a shark

It's never a good idea to go out to eat with a shark, but it's especially unwise to let the shark get drunk before dinner is served.

Aug 26

An honest mistake sends dog into a downward spiral

This is based on a true story about a dog who indeed started therapy but never admitted to secretly liking the cat food.

Aug 24

Alien abduction goes horribly wrong

Poor manatee. It hurts when the weird-looking aliens call you "goofy-looking". But I bet the aliens will haven an even worse day if they...

Aug 22

Goldfish has no exit strategy

Goldfish need a better exit strategy for getting out of a bad one-way conversation. By the way, the popular belief is that goldfish have...

Aug 18

Cat lawyer explains his client's actions

That seems like an air-tight defense. Another strong argument would be: "In my client's defense, he is a cat." I was compelled to bring...

Aug 17

When Hammerhead met Manatee

I really admire the self-confidence of our beloved manatee, although sometimes it's a bit over the top.

Aug 14

Shark says "See you later, alligator!"

The sad alligator returns for another heartbreaking episode. The poor guy can't catch a break. And just to be clear: Those are NOT...

Aug 12

Beware of SharkBear ... after one quick stop

When Shark and Bear team up, we're all in big trouble ... especially if we're standing in line when they show up at the ice cream stand.

Aug 10

A little incentive for a trip to the Dog Park

To anyone who worries that their dogs will do something highly embarrassing at the dog park, lighten up! Dogs just want to have fun ......

Aug 9

Manatee sure has a high opinion of himself

It's a widely known fact that manatees have an inflated opinion of themselves and aren't afraid to share it with the world. Especially...

Aug 5

Shark does not get the seal of approval

Let's hear it for the heartwarming friendship between a great white shark and a seal! It's a friendship that is destined to last a...

Aug 3

Llama drama in the courtroom

You've really got to keep an eye on those devious llamas. Always impersonating alpacas in order to get away with any number of crimes.

Aug 1

Manatee marriage mixup

Poor manatee wasn't expecting to get married and certainly wasn't expecting to be compared to an enormous potato. Shame on Janet for...

Jul 29

Shark Week continues with a really dumb idea

Today's Shark Week entry is an especially dumb cartoon about an especially dumb guy who's hanging with an especially confused shark....

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